Friends and other stuff

You can be friends with someone as children and still see the character traits in them as adults that led you to be friends as children. We are thrown together throughout our lives and that doesn't mean we will like the others thrown into our space. School, cubs and scouts, parents friends children, neighbours. I had some good neighbours who I spent quite a bit of my young childhood with but we all drifted away as we reached adulthood. My friends from scouts and the band have remained friends although we see each other less now.
Adulthood has brought friendships and relationships through being thrown together too. 28 years ago I started my RMN training in Leeds. A few of those merry band have remained friends since but the majority of the cohort have dispersed. Parenthood has brought friendships. I have friendships because my children made friends the way I did as a child. Adulthood also brings complications. Some friendships often very close won't last. They will break apart and leave you feeling lost and sometimes lonely. It is not uncommon to reach out to older childhood friends to fill the void left when relationships break down. We spend our whole lives forced into making friends purely because we were in the same place at the same time. Its a bit like enjoying a particular type of music because everyone does. We may all have grown up in the era of Marc Bolan and later The Clash but that doesn't mean we all enjoyed that.
Love is also mistaken for convenience and stability. You may go together or have been the perfect couple but when love breaks down it ceases to be so.
My parents generation are generally disinclined towards divorce. You make the best of it and stay together. Subsequent generations have been more decisive and maybe some would argue more honest about the nature of their relationships.
It is rare for someone to find love again in middle age but it can happen. Starting again can be daunting but with the right person, anything is possible.
Never thought I'd become a hopeless romantic. Actually maybe I was a hopeless romantic but never met the right person. Maybe I was hopeless. Maybe I was romantic. Maybe just maybe I wasn't.
Many of those that know me would attest to my hopelessness but few I suspect of being a romantic.
I do smile a genuine smile when I see childhood friends getting together with someone new at our time of life. It truly gladdens my soul to see them smiling and happy. It is not the preserve of the under 30s and trust me its often wasted on that age group anyway.
I went to my Aunties funeral this week. She was 85 and had been ill for some time but it was still very sad. We didn't see much of each other but she was always lovely to me and my siblings. I met up with family I haven't seen for years and the bond was still there. Family bonds are often stronger and deeper. The friendships you choose or seek out require you both to create the bonds that family have inherently.
The moral of the story is that as we grow older, the simple things start to matter more. Friends, family, happiness and most of all love. I took many of these for granted as a younger man. I assumed that love would last forever only to discover it fades and disappears. Happiness can be lost in the pursuit of wealth and stability. Friends can be ignored because time is wasted pursuing the wrong goals. I will probably never be rich or even comfortable, I may never be a success but I will have good friends, a great family and found real love. Those last three are worth more than anything else.