Responsibility Weighs Heavy

Its holiday time.

Lots to look forward to this year. Three trips with lovely people. Three trips two of which that require me to turn up and drive. Two that make me responsible for delivering the passengers safely to the right place. No problem really. The third requires minimum input from me although what if everyone else balls up?!

Except if you're the type that can get weighed down by the  responsibility. How far does your burden of responsibility stretch? Am I responsible for mechanical failures, traffic holdups, passenger comfort, weather conditions (don't get me started on the weather!). 

I will drive safely and ensure that my vehicle is roadworthy, try to avoid traffic jams and cross several fingers about the weather but in truth I have little control over any of these factors. My messianic powers do not extend to ensuring unbroken sunshine, clear roads but the car things I can hold my hands up to. 

I don't know how common this feeling of helplessness is at this time of year to other people. I may be the only one who feels like this. I love holidays. I love being on holiday. I look back with fond memories of carefree holidays. I just don't do that with the whole getting there part. 

Then it got me thinking. I resigned my Labour party membership the other week. I instantly worried that if I had stayed, my vote may count in a leadership contest and wasn't it selfish to deny the candidate of my choice, the support I wished to offer. I am though one person. One vote will be worthless overall. Why do I think I'm so important!

I worry that if I watch a final of say GBBO, my choice for winner might not win. I worry that watching England at football will jinx the team, that Murray will lose if I watch Wimbledon. 

I HAVE NO INFLUENCE WHATSOEVER ON THESE OUTCOMES!!! This is stupid, stupid, silly, ridiculous, illogical, mad. 

Stress occurs when you have little or no control over events surrounding you. I need to ask myself the question, what do I have the power to change/control. Stress was my downfall once. Stress will always be there and having a little bit is healthy but I need to pick my battles according to those which I might win!

So please tell me I'm not alone. 

Please tell me that I cannot change that which is beyond my control.

We have had the horrific news from Nice this morning. The victims will not have had time to worry about the consequences of a sociopaths moment of unfathomable cruelty. The population of France, Europe and indeed the rest of the world can only stand with each other and join hands. There are 80 plus people who will not go home. Their families will mourn their passing and struggle to understand why. 

Me, I just have to go on holiday!