Fathers Day and other stuff
I hate this time of year.
Well to be precise I hate these two weeks. Next Sunday is my birthday. Birthdays are for celebrating and being with friends and family.
Bollocks.
Birthdays are a reminder that you are one year older and that you are still here despite of everything. Birthdays have become more about what everyone else wants and less about the actual birthdayee (its a real word trust me). Birthdays are an opportunity for those who you are friends with on Facebook but who can't stand you to say 'Happy Birthday! Have a Great Day'. Its a form of conscience cleansing. The sincerity maybe lacking but the giver feels a whole lot better.
I guess I prepare for disappointment then that way, anything else is bonus. I became convinced that it always rains on my birthday (just to add a miserable backdrop) but then on reflection (in a large puddle I found myself staring at on my birthday) I realised this is bullshit. So by now you may have gathered I am a pessimist who prepares for failure with no expectation of success and birthdays exist to reinforce that failure.
Then a few days before comes Fathers Day.
Yeah we know its an artificial construct designed by greetings card manufacturers to even up the score a bit. Yeah I've heard the tired, patronising argument that 'every day is Fathers Day' argument. I also take issue with anyone who says that Mothers Day or Mothering Sunday is more valid because the church invented it to celebrate the mother church; and have failed to realise that it is an invention, is kind of missing the whole invention point. Just because it may have been around longer doesn't make it less of an invention.
But Fathers Day is out there.
The shops use it as an excuse to sell golf/football/outdoors equipment/tired cd/dvd compilations/amusing t shirts/barbeque gear, because that is what all men like. We are so predictable and are thankful for this tat being foisted on us. What happens if you don't drink, hate golf/football/motor sport/mountaineering/sick of barbecues ? What if the father actually likes books that don't include SAS operations/spies/Jeremy Clarkson ?
The whole thing is a construct designed to disappoint and condescend. I would prefer to accept the inevitable truth that my children couldn't give a shit about their father unless they need him and we leave it at that. Parenthood does have its rewards and I don't need telling to be immensely proud and feel absolute love for my children. I am also aware that they are very busy growing so have little time to think about anyone else. That is how it should be. They will appreciate my pathetic efforts at some point but whilst there are exams, relationships, box sets of Game of Thrones/ Modern Family to watch then fine continue to ignore me.
So lets just go to sleep now and wake up on Monday morning. That way we will have missed the forced insincerity, the rubbish golfing presents/ cards with drinking references thing. In fact I may just go into hibernation for the next ten days. I've already voted in the EU referendum, it will save me some dosh on diesel, I won't have to care about weather, the crap state of world politics, the fact I'm a year older and that no one wants to buy my books.
I must find a cave, eat lots and then go to sleep. I shall wake up on the 27th and it will be raining because it started the day before.
Well to be precise I hate these two weeks. Next Sunday is my birthday. Birthdays are for celebrating and being with friends and family.
Bollocks.
Birthdays are a reminder that you are one year older and that you are still here despite of everything. Birthdays have become more about what everyone else wants and less about the actual birthdayee (its a real word trust me). Birthdays are an opportunity for those who you are friends with on Facebook but who can't stand you to say 'Happy Birthday! Have a Great Day'. Its a form of conscience cleansing. The sincerity maybe lacking but the giver feels a whole lot better.
I guess I prepare for disappointment then that way, anything else is bonus. I became convinced that it always rains on my birthday (just to add a miserable backdrop) but then on reflection (in a large puddle I found myself staring at on my birthday) I realised this is bullshit. So by now you may have gathered I am a pessimist who prepares for failure with no expectation of success and birthdays exist to reinforce that failure.
Then a few days before comes Fathers Day.
Yeah we know its an artificial construct designed by greetings card manufacturers to even up the score a bit. Yeah I've heard the tired, patronising argument that 'every day is Fathers Day' argument. I also take issue with anyone who says that Mothers Day or Mothering Sunday is more valid because the church invented it to celebrate the mother church; and have failed to realise that it is an invention, is kind of missing the whole invention point. Just because it may have been around longer doesn't make it less of an invention.
But Fathers Day is out there.
The shops use it as an excuse to sell golf/football/outdoors equipment/tired cd/dvd compilations/amusing t shirts/barbeque gear, because that is what all men like. We are so predictable and are thankful for this tat being foisted on us. What happens if you don't drink, hate golf/football/motor sport/mountaineering/sick of barbecues ? What if the father actually likes books that don't include SAS operations/spies/Jeremy Clarkson ?
The whole thing is a construct designed to disappoint and condescend. I would prefer to accept the inevitable truth that my children couldn't give a shit about their father unless they need him and we leave it at that. Parenthood does have its rewards and I don't need telling to be immensely proud and feel absolute love for my children. I am also aware that they are very busy growing so have little time to think about anyone else. That is how it should be. They will appreciate my pathetic efforts at some point but whilst there are exams, relationships, box sets of Game of Thrones/ Modern Family to watch then fine continue to ignore me.
So lets just go to sleep now and wake up on Monday morning. That way we will have missed the forced insincerity, the rubbish golfing presents/ cards with drinking references thing. In fact I may just go into hibernation for the next ten days. I've already voted in the EU referendum, it will save me some dosh on diesel, I won't have to care about weather, the crap state of world politics, the fact I'm a year older and that no one wants to buy my books.
I must find a cave, eat lots and then go to sleep. I shall wake up on the 27th and it will be raining because it started the day before.
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